Collaboration

Crickets.  Crickets.  Crickets.  Hear that?  That’s the awkward silence that follows talking a topic to death.

It can be emotionally wrenching and off-putting.  Sweaty palms, nervous patter.  And we’ve all been there.  Done that.

It can happen when two minimally acquainted people are pushed into close proximity in a social setting.  The plasti-smile gets yanked on.  It can happen at work when someone stubbornly advances their antiquated, myopic point of view while others look on uncomfortably.  In both cases, you are clinging to the last bit of safe ground, your comfort zone.  Anxiety crawls up your throat like a fat ant on a lazy summer day.  Trepidation reigns.

The voice inside your head screams “Escape!  Help!” and your eyes scan the horizon for the nearest life preserver:  a mutual friend who can serve as a bridge and get you through the banquet with a mere limp.  Or the patient and sensible group member whose soothing voice serves as a balm for the distressed.

The critical moment may pass, but the stink of your discomfort in those situations will linger like a Linus cloud.

Breathe easy, it’s over.  But I have a question for you.  When the conversation gets tough, do you muddle through with superficial comments about banal topics?   Are your eyes cast on the ground while you will the situation away?  Huh.  That’s too bad.

You could try something risky, something without precedent or a well-lit path.  You could change the conversation.

To change the conversation for you or your brand:

• You have to be approachable.
• You have to listen.  Forget multitasking, be respectful.
• You have to observe.  Pay attention to cues.
• You have to ask questions.  Dig deeper.  Write with your other hand.
• You have to validate, restate the message you think you’ve learned.
• You have to think laterally, make contextual relationships and connect dots.
• You may have to be  silent and reflect before determining your next step.
• You have to be humble and appreciative.
• You have to be willing to help.
• You have to ask the difficult questions, and be willing to receive the answers.
• You have to be able to accept change.  Even if it isn’t your idea.

What are your conversations about these days?  Did your last one get the better of you?

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